So I am starting a new blog (don’t worry about the first one, it was total rubbish), and think it’s probably best to lay down some ground rules. For me, obviously, not for you. I don’t even know you.
Rule #1
No ‘and then I did this’ posts just because I’m too lazy to come up with something interesting and/or useful and/or amusing to write about.
The scourge of the blogosphere – ‘And Then I Did This’ Syndrome, sometimes known as And Then I Did This, And Then This Other Thing Happened, And Then There Was Another Non-Event To Follow The First One, And Then Everyone Vomited From Boredom, And Then Ate Their Own Vomit Because They Were So Fucking, Fucking, Crotch-Punchingly Bored Syndrome.
No more, it’s the law.
(I can’t promise I won’t break this rule, but when I do I will try to swear a lot to disguise the fact that I’m shockingly uninteresting. You know, like Gordon Ramsay.)
Rule #2
No real names…
…because obviously I am such a truly cracking blogger that digressica.com will inevitably attract an Incredible Hulk-sized readership that will spill over from the anonymous world of the Interwebs and demand more, more, more of the Digressica Experience, and propriety be damned, they will hunt down all friends, family and co-workers even fleetingly mentioned in said blog and wring them for information, photos, used underwear and the answer to the question on everyone’s lips – who is the shattering genius behind digressica.com, and how can we be her friend? For reals.
(This rule has nothing to do with creating a cheap, artificial air of mystery, or protecting myself from the friends, family and co-workers I intend to bitch about.)
Rule #3
No bad language.
I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.
Rule #4
No excessive bad language just because I’m too lazy to come up with good words and shit.
Rules #5
Be awesome.
I can’t promise I won’t break this rule either. The truth is I’m actually crap, and this will become more and more apparent with every post.
Still… let’s just ride this crazy wave of deficiency together. It’s about the journey, man. Not the disappointing, embarrassingly inadequate destination.
