WARNING: This is a frickin’ long post. Seriously. Get some popcorn and a couple shots of vodka before you start reading.
I promised a Landmark Forum wrap-up, and here it is. Can’t say I don’t deliver.
To be honest it’s not really what I wanted to write about tonight, and I don’t think it’s going to be wildly entertaining for many peeps. But on the other hand, when I was leading up to my forum weekend I was soaking up every blog post about Landmark I possibly could, whether positive or negative. So I feel like now that I’ve done the forum myself, I should contribute to this dialogue in some way.
Annoyingly, most of the reviews I stumbled upon while I was researching the Landmark Forum had one thing in common – EXTREMISM. (Yes, I used all capitals for that. What of it?) It was either the cheerleaders with their verbal arse-lickings of “OMG! The forum has changed my life! I will never be the same again! The last 45 years of my worthless existence have been completely overwritten! In the immortal words of Yazz and the Plastic Population, the only way is up baby!” or the conspiracy theorists whining “Run! Run away children! It’s a cult! They make you give all your money away and they don’t even let you nick out for a loo break!”
They used a lot of exclamation marks, those damn bloggers.
So anyway, hopefully this will be a more balanced review. I’m going to be completely honest about my experience, but it’s just one girl’s opinion really, so make of it what you will.
For those unfamiliar with the Landmark Forum, the basic facts are that it’s a personal development course that runs over three days in London, around the Mornington Crescent area (and also in many other countries around the world). You’re in a room with around 150 others and one forum leader. My leader was David Ure, who was Australian.
Let’s shoot out some highlights and lowlights.
Highlights
- Watching one annoying woman’s face fall in the first ten minutes of the weekend when the leader called her a jerk and she realised it wasn’t going to be three days of rainbows and group hugging after all. Cop that, bitch.
- Putting together the weird little puzzle of events in my life that have led me to where I am with certain people, and then actually being able to wipe that slate clean for good.
- Realising that one of the most important things to me is having the integrity to keep your promises – no matter how big or small – and finding practical ways to implement that possibility in my life.
- Being told that life is indeed meaningless, and feeling excited about that fact instead of depressed.
- Getting real with myself about the insane interpretations I’ve had of things that have happened, and realising that they’re just that – things that happen – and nothing else.
Lowlights
- This one was pretty key for me. Because I had read so much about the forum and knew what to expect, I got everything David was saying straight away. That was slightly problematic, because I felt that the entire weekend I was “getting” everything on an intellectual level, but not having these amazing “Ah-ha!” emotional moments that it seemed every other person in the room was having. I therefore spent a lot of the weekend worrying that I was missing out on some deeply personal revelation. Don’t do this.
- There was a lot of yelling. (On the other hand, there was a lot of laughing too.)
- There were a lot of annoying new-agey types who just wanted to hug everyone and talk about their feelings a lot during the breaks. I tried to discourage this behaviour by pointedly putting in my earphones whenever anyone wearing wooden beads or a multicoloured headscarf started to sidle my way.
- The hard sell – YIKES. To be honest I don’t know if I’d bother showing up on the last night unless you’re particularly keen to do so. They make a big deal about how you really, really, really, really, REALLY have to come on the last night, and then it turns out they just wanted to recruit your friends and sign you up to the next course. I didn’t get anything else out of the last night, personally.
Just to answer any lingering questions you may have after reading some of the craziness lurking online about the forum, its purpose and its effects, here are some quick FAQ.
Is it a cult?
No. The people who call it a cult are stupid and sensationalist. Calling it a cult makes it sound much more glamorous than it actually is. If I join a cult I expect to be mentally seduced by a charismatic bald guy wearing leather sandals, not called a jerk and told to stop acting like a brat by a middle-aged Australian in glasses and a brown cardigan.
But don’t they take all your money and make you dump your boyfriend and stuff?
I’m not going to lie, it’s pretty damn expensive. Especially when you move into the Advanced Course, the Self-Expression and Leadership Program, etc. But on the other hand, who cares? Obviously the people who do this thing can afford to. They’re not paying for it with three years’ wages from sewing Primark handbags in a sweatshop. If you have the money and inclination, more power to you. You’d only have spent it on cocktails anyway.
There was at least one guy from my forum who dumped his girlfriend during the weekend. He did it over the phone too, while she was still at home somewhere in Eastern Europe – which, just quietly, I thought was a bit shit. But frankly, I think anyone who gets dumped as a result of their partner going to the Landmark Forum was probably going to get dumped anyway. The process just got fast-tracked a little, which is likely for the best. If you’re reading this, Eastern European Dumpee, don’t worry about it. The guy DUMPED YOU OVER THE PHONE. And then he hit on me the next day. And he wasn’t very pretty or interesting. You can definitely do better.
But don’t they use brainwashing techniques like the Koreans used on the Americans after the war or whatever?
Um… no.
Well, they do this thing where they make up really arbitrary rules for the weekend, and you’re expected to make a commitment to follow them. For example, one of the rules is no alcohol or painkillers during the full course of the forum. I definitely took some aspirin on the second day and no form of retribution befell me, so relax.
I’ve seen a lot of blogs where people try to justify this rule as, “Oh, they just want you to keep a clear head, it helps you take in the information better” etc, but actually our forum leader gave no such reasoning, and I don’t believe there was any such reasoning.
My guess is that if you can make someone follow a seemingly pointless rule, and follow it to the letter, unquestioningly… then they’re basically giving themselves over to the whole process and will probably shut off that cynical part of their brain that has to question everything all the time. I’m not saying this is a good or bad thing.
Well, actually, it’s probably good. I mean, the thing is, you’ve paid a lot of money to be there, right? You might as well embrace the concept wholeheartedly, even if it’s just for those few days. I wonder if anything I’ve just said makes sense anywhere outside of my own brain.
Don’t they make you recruit all your friends to do it as well? Isn’t it just a big ol’ pyramid scheme?
Yup. That’s marketing, baby. Hey, they’ve gotta make money, they’re not just in this business to make you feel good about your whiny little problems, jackass.
If you’re going to do this thing, you should know that there is a massive push – especially on the final evening – for you to a) bring everyone you know and have them sign up to the next forum, and b) sign up to do the Advanced Course yourself. I didn’t do either of these things. I do actually plan to do the Advanced Course at some point later this year, and I think it will be really fantastic. But I didn’t want to fork out the cash to do it immediately, and I really want to do it when I know I’ve got time for it in my life and I’m excited about it. Not just because someone is in my face saying, “Oh, you’re not signing up for the Advanced Course? Well, that’s okay. It just means that you don’t ‘get it’. You’ve still got some work to do. Yeah, see those people at the back of the room getting out their wallets? They got it. You didn’t. Sucks to be you.”
Honey, I work in marketing and I have a manipulative mother. I’ve heard it all before.
Do they really not let you go to the bathroom?
Don’t be ridiculous. Why does everyone keep saying this? They do encourage you not to be late and not to miss a minute (“That could be just the minute you need to hear the most!” Whatever…), but there’s no burly woman with a crew cut standing at the door waiting to crash-tackle you if you try to leave.
In closing…
Did I enjoy it? Not the whole thing. That weekend was actually one of the most intense experiences of my life. It was – forgive me for this hackneyed cliché (close your eyes children!) – a rollercoaster ride of emotions (cringe. I’ll be back in a minute; I just have to go scrub myself clean).
There were moments at the end of the night when I was at home in the foetal position on my living room floor crying my over-dramatic little eyes out. There were moments when I felt completely empty and pointless as a human being. But there were also moments of elation, and moments when I actually felt a significant shift in my perception of myself, the people in my life, and life in general. A good shift, I mean.
Am I glad I did it? Yep. Will I do the Advanced Course? You betcha. Would I recommend it? Word.
Okay, I’m bored of this now. I’d like to hear from anyone else who’s done the forum though. Are you a cheerleader, a conspiracy theorist, a little of both, disgruntled, excited, elated?
Thoughts? Feelings? Impressions?
32 responses so far ↓
nuttycow // August 1, 2008 at 11:24 |
The whole thing seems a little odd to me. But then again, I’m the most cynical person in the world.
digressica // August 7, 2008 at 12:17 |
No way, I am definitely the most cynical. That sash and crown is MINE!
LC // August 8, 2008 at 11:18 |
RE: Hard sell
I’m split over this one.
On one hand I couldn’t take one more minute of “bring everyone you know”, “how many friends do you have?… Only 2?!?”, “sign up now or we’ll get our shite call centre peeps to dial you till your blackberry dies”…
However, now that one of my dearest friends has been Landmarked too, I can see an immediate benefit. We can talk about our experiences, encourage each other to be our possibility, and provide support when we start to “get on one”.
Or maybe it is just exciting to have someone who can stand all the jargon that now litters our conversations?
Either way, it is all empty and meaningless
digressica // August 8, 2008 at 15:49 |
Hmm yes, you are quite the canny badger LC. That is actually a very good point, and personally I think it’s even more beneficial for the recomendee than the recommender, because you have a ready-made sounding board and someone to say “I KNOW!” when you email/text them a series of unintelligible symbols after your first day at the forum, e.g. “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!OMGWTF!?!?!”
On a sidenote, today I am creating for myself the possibility of crispy duck lao mian and perhaps some kind of delicious cocktail in the seedy heart of Soho. I feel good knowing I can count on your encouragement.
dictation | digressica.com // November 23, 2008 at 21:44 |
[...] non-Landmarkers: running a racket is top-secret (not really) Landmark Forum jargon for someone or something is getting on my nerves and I would like to whinge about it in [...]
Anonyyy // December 13, 2008 at 08:44 |
I just got home from my first Landmark tonight. I was almost in tears driving home because it wsa the most terrible day of my life. No… I had no “breakthroughs”. All I heard was a ton of YAPPING, a ton of “when we get to the forum”, and a ton of the leader telling all the speakers NO… NO.
I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow, but the 3 people I know who have done it are extremely educated & smart and are passionate about this. I will give it a second chance, but they need to cut out this BS first day. It does NOTHING, and I hate all these robots shaking their head in agreement with something I could have told them… I am very upset with this after the first day.
digressica // December 13, 2008 at 13:21 |
Hmm, I think you’re right to stick with it. Just go with a very open mind, but don’t feel bad if you don’t ‘get it’ (such a stupid phrase!) by the end of the weekend. The truth is, if you only get a couple of useful points from it, that’s totally okay. You do NOT have to walk out of there thinking your entire life has changed and everything’s going to be wonderful from now on blah blah blah… in fact if you do, you’ll only get let down afterwards.
But listen, there ARE some good things to get from the forum. I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but a lot of it has actually been useful to me, and I strongly suggest that even if you feel ambivalent about the forum weekend, you go ahead and do the ten-week seminar series. I got much more out of the seminar series than the actual forum – and that wasn’t even until week seven or so. I spent the first six weeks being really irritated about the whole thing.
The thing I really got from it is the thing about having integrity and being your word, and being a stand for something in your life – and when I got that, I REALLY got it.
Good luck, I hope the weekend gets better. Come back and let me know how you feel about it at the end of the forum.
Anonyyy // December 13, 2008 at 16:57 |
Just checked in before I go in 30 minutes to reply to a couple things…
Integrity – I have a TON already, I do everything I say I will, on time, etc etc… so that was not hard for me… and being a stand for something in my life. I am not sure if that means about like, how passionate I am for vegetarianism and animal rights, and respecting peopels things… etc.
I still have day one assignments to do, and I am struggling. Writing a letter? To who??? Apparently I’ve been inauthentic to EVERYONE, as she said, so, I really don’t know. I definitely DO NOT get it, yet. And am very unsure about what rackets are..
rootvegetable // January 10, 2009 at 21:56 |
I just stumbled across this site and it brought back nasty memories of my involvement with Landmark. I spent 3 years going through the courses and as an introduction leader and can honestly say that it’s the biggest crock I’ve ever come across. These people have NO interest in your life, none. They don’t care how your life is going, if you develop mental problems as a result of their thinking or how they treat you – as long as they get what they want; bodies to staff their events and paying bums on seats. Bear in mind that their leaders have no externally recognised qualifications in delivering what is effectively group therapy, no training in psychology, no code of ethics and no supervision by external authorities. This organisation exists solely to sell more courses. That’s it. If you want this sort of help, find a registered, qualified and supervised professional. Don’t risk your mental health with these unlicensed shysters.
digressica // January 11, 2009 at 21:40 |
Yikes, it certainly is a divisive issue.
I guess I can just respond by saying that a) of course it’s about making a profit, they’re a business… I guess it just depends whether you think that’s fundamentally a bad thing or not, b) I wouldn’t describe it as ‘effectively group therapy’, and if I had gone there wanting or expecting that, I imagine I would be rather miffed, and c) in my experience LM has been quite open about the fact that they don’t accept people who have mental health issues, and they do not provide a psychological health service in any way.
I haven’t been into LM for three years though (and I certainly won’t continue doing courses for three years… er, I’m a bit busy), and I have no interest whatsoever in becoming an introduction leader. So I guess I can see how our experiences with the organisation are probably wildly different.
Please don't nick my content (you boring, whiny fuck) | digressica.com // January 11, 2009 at 22:50 |
[...] Comments digressica on an uncrazy review of the landmark forumrootvegetable on an uncrazy review of the landmark forumdigressica on dictationDan Weiss on [...]
lava // January 20, 2009 at 02:42 |
this is a great summation. I just finished Landmark last weekend. I did have a breakthrough, but the whole thing could have been over at 2p.m. on Friday for me. The next two days were unbearably boring (for me) and superfulous. I ended up leaving at 3:00 on Sunday, was given a refund despite saying that I was more than satisified with my experience.
Of course they think I am in denial or whatev, I am absolutely thrilled with my breakthrough, even if I go back tomorrow to my former self, I had a great 4 day ride. I also have no investment in whether or not any of my friends do it.
If they wanted to, sure. At the same time it is not the end all be all, but it certainly helped me a lot. I mean their “story” is just a story too.
Thanks for writing this.
digressica // January 20, 2009 at 10:56 |
Thanks for your comment. Sounds like you had a pretty similar experience to mine. It’s nice to hear another balanced view.
Crystal // January 27, 2009 at 02:57 |
Hi there,
I just finished doing the LF course this past weekend and tomorrow is the Tuesday evening class. Even though I did have a break through and my husband and I totally benefited from these three days of BOREDOM and BACK ACHES…I decided to not invite anyone to tomorrow’s session.
I know some people in my life that absolutely need to take this forum and I know they can have a bunch of break throughs, I just don’t want to be apart of Landmark’s marketing ploy. Granted, I did sign up for the Advance course but it’s because I wanted to do it…I did notice how they were pressuring everybody to sign up but I wanted to do it because I believe in all that they taught me this weekend. But knowing my mom and brother, they would sign up just because they didn’t want to say NO (but is that me just interpreting? Am I really brainwashed? lol). So I decided that if I just show them just how this course helped me by my change of behavior and living, then I think they would want to sign up because they saw a difference not because some stranger told them it was great.
By the way, your blog ROCKS!!! Today I researched Landmark and I am suprised to hear how people make it sound so bad. I bet it’s from the people who went to the Tuesday evening class who felt pressured to sign up. But your blog is EXACTLY how I felt this past weekend!
P.S.
It’s been awhile since you wrote this blog…so have you done the Advanced Course yet? If so tell me about it!
akv // February 18, 2009 at 10:44 |
just returned from the tuesday session where one of my friends R invited me. (so much pressure)
at first i was reluctant to go but one of our common friends called me and asked what has happened to R. he has called him up was apologizing for what happened 4 years back.
that made me make up my mind .
anyway
first hand i had no idea what the landmark forum was about. never heard of previously i thought i may be another inspirational gathering by another sipiritual gurus. I hail from India and there is no shortage of such gurus who can give u very large pag of what we call spiritual alcohol here.
the leader Mr. Sodhi was quite nice in appearance. immaculately dressed and very humurous. teasing and making fun of himself(being a sardar ) with others. One thing i should make clear before going forward. We in India get a lot of spiritual teaching from our parents and elderly family members right from our childhood. we have a tradition of it and some really really fantastic books on teachings ( hope u know about the Geeta) and many really great spiritual teachers. BUT BUT BUT (and this is important) we are also taught to critically examine anything and almost everything.
Then mr Sodhi started about the little voice which continuously talks to u. Then i realised what he is asking for. keep ur mind clean plain as a new paper and let them inside.
he emphasized how we have made a mess of our lives by letting ourselves fall prey to so called rackles and other problems highlighted by them.
it seemed like a well scripted lecture. we have heard it so many times from our grand parents.
But the real thing was now when he invited some participants to confess on the stage.
many of them did and hats off to them for doing many would not dare to under normal circumstances.( A result of introspection)
But what i found interesting is now
those who confess on trivial issues like some minor problems with their relatives, a boss employee issue, business not doing so well etc etc were those who apparently did not get such teachings from their parents. they were most notably from such class of the community where materialism has been on the top of priority list.
Unfortunately even Indians are getting materialistic today despite having such strong spritual tradition.
So in a way i found out that the forum may work well for those who havent got it. those who have developed a notion that money matters always.
and that u can carry out ur plans in life without any glitches, those who are afraid to struggle, those who are afraid to accept defeat, those who have developed a shell around them. The forum introduces them to the world of spirituality(though they may not accept it).
We have lots of stories and epics and songs which give those teachings to u. But the fact is there is always a need of good teacher who can pass them to u? forum does that.
AND SO THE CONVESION RATE WAS A VERY LOW IN DELHI.
but as always there are side effects. u can not change urself in three days what u have made urself in years? it need a continuos process and very gruelling one.
Adaptation is better. u try to change something and it may break in the process. so one needs to be mentally strong before taking such sessions.
life is cruel and its harshness takes away the good qualities of life.
so it will be interesting to watch my friend first for a couple of months.
till then goodbye
reviewer // February 20, 2009 at 01:05 |
Very fair review. Agree that the hard sell was too much.
Girl // April 8, 2009 at 23:29 |
So I took the landmark forum about 6 months ago and it has been nothing but good for me.. I agree that the sales pitch can be rather anoying, it is definetly a busniess, however the way I see it is that the more people I have in my life who have done the forum, and the more poeople I know who have the same tools I have to ‘deal’ with life the better my life is.. my mom recently participated and we have always had a great relationship but its beyond great now.. its not a pyrmid scheme.. you dont get any money for signing others up. Its like anything in life take what you like and leave what you dont.. Also your not going to get brainwashed.. and its not a cult.. there is nothing to believe in, and many participants practice various religions, or not. its just a weekend which gives you tools to handel the crap life might throw at you, to improve your relationships, to teach you to have a better relationship to your word, and I think thats why you make promises such as not being late.. its not that they want to control you,they are teaching you to have integrity and to keep your word.. YES there is home work, and sometimes your asked to do it on your breaks.. I keep reading about people complaing that it isnt really a break.. however these homework exercizes are when you really have your break throughs.. the break throughs happen from talking to people in your life not a bunch of strangers in a hall.. The fourm will give you tools to have peace of mind, and be empowered to do things you may not have done in the past
R.S. // May 26, 2009 at 08:17 |
i think they should let go of some of the bad leaders. they suck big time. if you do get unlucky and get one of them the whole experience gets messed up. like the newer ones esp in INDIA
Bob // June 17, 2009 at 21:17 |
It’s a cult. Move on.
Pal // June 23, 2009 at 07:35 |
Just finished my basic course and I am confused. They basically kept preaching about how its all about NOW . There is no past, no future.
Its all what we create of it. Well if the Canvas is mine to paint whichever way I want, then what is GOD’s role in all of this.
Who or what is GOD then ??
Troubled // June 30, 2009 at 15:37 |
I’m going to the Tuesday session tonight with a friend who has done the course. He’s not given me the hard sell, and to be honest I havent seen him since last thursday the evening before the course started.
I am not very good at dealing with pressure and if they hard sell me I’ll probably crack.
I’ve done the same research as everyone else on the net and have no idea what I’m letting myself in for.
Am bricking it.
digressica // July 20, 2009 at 10:42 |
Pal.
L-A-N-D-M-A-R-K is an organisation providing personal training and development seminars to people with too much money.
C-H-U-R-C-H is an organisation providing imaginary friends and a culture of guilt to people with too little sense.
I’m not sure how you’ve confused the two.
Malashree // July 21, 2009 at 17:19 |
Hi,
I finished the course on Sunday. I was looking for a reviews, your blog is really good. I share similar views but not the experiences.
It is expensive course. I want readers to let know, Sri Sri Ravishankar Guruji’s Art Of Living courses are as good as this. And they donot make you feel like a JERK. My experiences with them was very good, you come out happy with good excercises and a Very good breathing Technique called “Sudarshana Kriya”.
Today Morning I did 45 mins Kriya to get back to my normal self, because my yesterday was awful.
Thank you.
ritikachainani // August 4, 2009 at 02:44 |
I attended Landmark forum on 17th July 2009.
I am very much confused about how can i let go of certain things in my life.
They sometimes say that if doing wrong to someone is a sin then letting yourself pushed down by people or used up by people is a bigger sin.
I am confused whether i should let go and forgive the people who are staying with me or should i take a stand and say “enough is enough”
becky // September 9, 2009 at 07:00 |
I will be taking the course this weekend, Sept. 11-15. Thanks for the heads up. If I witness the forum leader telling anyone they are a jerk, I’ll tell ‘em to Fuck off! and then I’ll walk out.
Mia // September 16, 2009 at 16:40 |
I appreciate your view/experience of Landmark blah blah. I haven’t taken the course but I was interested when I called a friend today and he told me that he attended a forum last week, which was offered at the discounted price of $395.
To be honest, the reason I’m even searching for information about it is because something was…I donno…different about him, and not really in a good way. I’ve known him for years and there just seemed to be a shift. Don’t get me wrong; he was SAYING all the right things but something was off.
Now that I’ve read so many articles about it – good, bad and neutral – I’m a little worried but not too much. I hope that he reaps positive benefits from his weekend. I’ve no intention of attending any forums myself but I will support him because it’s what we do for each other.
Thanks for sharing and for letting me share. Good luck with everything
ashish // October 26, 2009 at 16:51 |
Advanced course which I attended..
My experience about advanced course was total horrifying. It definitely puts your emotional or psychological state at risk. This is how it went.
The coach was Mr. Balwinder Singh Sodhi.
This is how my advanced course went. Every day we spent almost 2 hrs in morning session in waiting and restoring so called integrity of the group since a person was late, 4 hrs in an evening session of 3rd day in acknowledging the possibility of creating world full of peace, love (sorry.. unconditional love), compassion, integrity etc. etc. by participants who became suddenly a form of pure gold since coach declared it at one fine moment in a room of hotel, listening to below the belt jokes from Mr. Sodhi, making a guy stand and asking him to prove his relation with his parents by conducting DNA test of parents, neighbor’s and then community if the first two doesn’t prove it (How embarrassing it would be for Mr. Sodhi’s son/daughter when somebody steps into his son/daughter’s personal space in front of 98 other participants and few assistants), tormenting a guy for having materialistic aim to fulfill his parents’ wish, exaggerating the things to such an extent when they are not and finally selling SELP on every day of the course.
If SELP is so important then why it is sold under the carpet? i.e. by pressurizing the participants by holding them on a case basis as if they hv done some crime. If it so important and coupled with advanced course then it should be informed while registering for advanced course. I am sure Landmark is not being fair / authentic in doing so.
When somebody left the course in the middle of the course, Mr. Sodhi was excellent in passing pranks about him after he/she has left. And somebody didn’t register for SELP and is still in the class then Mr. Sodhi was phenomenal in making that point about him/her. A harsh comment passed by participant on Mr. Sodhi became a boomerang ornamented with a nasty language used by Mr. Sodhi for which Mr. Sodhi was kind enough to take it back when it had hit already. In Mr. Sodhi’s language, this one small tap, spat a lot of venom out from Mr. Sodhi’s mouth. If this is Mr. Sodhi then one can really imagine how pathetic situation his family would be going through. And Mr. Sodhi tells that participant doesn’t know who Mr. Sodhi is, which leaves a question in participant’s mind that why would he/she pay Rs. 11400/- to get the answer of this question Mr. Sodhi asked. Mr. Sodhi is coached very badly to lead advanced course.
Advanced course is much more advertised in Forum. But forum is genuinely an excellent exercise and gives a sufficient idea about “if forum is so good then how powerful advanced course would be” (Unfortunately it’s not, It seems it has been created for sake of creating one more course) which makes a candidate take a decision voluntarily. SELP registration really becomes onerous in advanced course led by Mr Sodhi. SELP is sold in advanced course and now I don’t know which course will be sold in SELP. I met with a guy who is a SELP leader. I can imagine now how badly SELP is lead. I really describe the advanced course was simply waste of my time, energy and money.
I have paid registration fees for SELP since I succumb to the pressure of the space which was there. I consider it’s a small contribution from my side. But I am not going to attend SELP.
I might be showing up an ‘ACT’ by writing this message but this is what I am dealing with.
Tyler // November 17, 2009 at 14:14 |
Well… I’d have to agree with digressica. Not a cult but not a touchy feely group either. I would have to say our coach was well trained. He expressed his life experiences and was free to go wherever we wanted the conversation to go. The beginning started with lots of cool-aide jokes and ended with an overall sense of completion. I didn’t have a life altering experience or “pop” as he put it, not like many of the others, but I certainly can’t say I walked away from it with nothing. I got a lot of what was said.
The thing that really struck me was how much my carelessness for others impacts them when I don’t put myself out there 100%.
The thing I really liked about my coach was how he wasn’t affected by people. Half way through day one he stopped and said if you don’t think you should be here go talk to the coordinator at the back for a refund and walk out the door. Two people did, they left and that was that it was over we carried on. I almost did. but My uncle went through it and he didn’t go squirrelly and I wanted to know that I would have been left with a lingering question and never knowing of “what if I stayed”.
What I took from the Forum was something I’ve always known but in the latest chapter, and to some extent all my life, is that I make my choices in life and I have to be accountable to my choices. I can’t blame anybody else for where I am how I feel or what I’ve done. It’s all me. I am the master architect for my life and how I choose to live it. I thought it was very intense and am glad I went to it.
I could have gone without the hard sell the the end of Sunday but I can see where they were coming from. My coach put it out there. I wouldn’t do this for free. I still have to eat and support my family. The Landmark company has an infrastructure of buildings and rentals and crews and other operating costs it has to take care of. But this is no different than going to a college or university for a class in psych or philosophy. The University has to pay for the operating costs of the class. Doesn’t mean they don’t want to help people but they can’t help people from a cardboard box. With that I will invite a friend to take it. But not on their terms rather on my terms as I see fit.
So go.. or not. take something from it… or not. If you don’t like what you take from it then don’t take that. Just own the choice you make as your choice.
ciel // February 2, 2010 at 09:06 |
Digressica, hats off for a well-written and hilarious blog. I’m getting the hard sell on Landmark from a friend at the moment (they much teach perseverence, because she started on me ten years ago!) and I wanted to remind myself of all the reasons why I don’t want to do it.
The hard sell is a real turn off, and I don’t like the way my friend manages to bring Landmark into every conversation. I know it’s not a cult, and there’s no brainwashing, but they do produce some fervent devotees!
The two intro evenings I attended in those ten years didn’t inspire me. What I found especially annoying was this idea that Landmark had discovered and patented the secret to transforming one’s life. If people are serious about personal growth, there are plenty of avenues to explore that don’t involve paying huge sums of money to be told that you’re inauthentic and involved in rackets with everyone you know. A personal favourite is Inner Frontier, by Joseph Naft, a holocaust survivor. Also Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now and anything by the Dalai lama. I think I’ll stick with them for now : )
Wanderlust // March 10, 2010 at 09:07 |
This was a fun read, and I must say, much more informative and honest than the 50+ blathering sites I found about Landmark’s pros & cons, so thanks for that.
I’ve been debating whether to go for a few months now. I was invited by a friend whose perspective and opinion I really trust, so I’ve been to the Forum intros twice, but still haven’t enrolled. At both intros, I have been inspired and excited, but also turned off and alienated by the end of the night–all in three hours’ time! I feel like you’re pulled into this amazing world of honesty and emotions, and then immediately afterward, the HARD SELL. It’s really annoying. I was sitting next to a girl last night who had to defend graduating from college as her reason not to sign up RIGHT NOW, which I thought was a pretty good reason:
“I can’t take off a Friday until I graduate, and then I don’t know where I will be geographically, so I can’t really commit right now.”
“Well, you could always change your location and the date later…for a small fee.”
Or she could just sign up later when she knows where she’ll be living so she won’t owe you an additional fee!
I wish they’d lay off a bit, because I probably would have joined by now. I think it’s the hard-to-get thing for me personally…like, why do you want to be my boyfriend so badly? Something must be wrong with you. I guess we’ll see. I’m half-way there about signing up.
statusq // March 10, 2010 at 17:51 |
Sweet write up on landmark. in fact, i found your tone not unlike my own when i wrote about landmark years ago. the whole deal is wrought with things to dislike, and yet i still find i use the whole Racket thing to figure out how to deal w/ relationship issues, and i haven’t antagonized my mom ever since i took the course.
If yr interested, here’s my take on it: http://www.beyondrobson.com/city/2006/01/heard_of_landmark_forum_you_will/index.php
statusq // March 10, 2010 at 19:40 |
Sweet write up on landmark. in fact, i found your tone not unlike my own when i wrote about landmark years ago. LM is wrought with things to dislike, and yet i still occasionally use the whole ‘Racket’ thing to figure out how to deal w/ relationship issues, and i haven’t antagonized my mom ever since i took the course.
If yr interested, here’s my take on it: http://www.beyondrobson.com/city/2006/01/heard_of_landmark_forum_you_will/index.php