Monthly Archives: October 2008

…And here’s some stuff I’ve liked this week

The Declaration, by Gemma Malley

The Declaration is a YA novel set in a dystopian future England. It’s 2140 and years ago, scientists found a ‘cure’ for old age (as though it was a disease or something, which interestingly is how a lot of people seem to talk about it when they promote anti-ageing products and scientific developments. Scary). They created a drug that could completely halt the aging process and actually prevent death. Naturally this led to a massive increase in population that the planet and its resources could no longer sustain, so laws were introduced to inhibit reproduction. Which always works out for the best. It’s an interesting and very quick read.

Incidently, I think I am addicted to buying books, and actually to bookstores in general. My mother and sisters started refusing to enter a bookstore with me by the time I was around 12 or 13, because it would take them hours to get me out.

A very shiny manouvre of fate has me working very near the biggest bookstore in London – the seven-storey Waterstones on Piccadilly. Or as I like to call it, The Place Where Awesome is Made. So whenever I am feeling like a social zombie (which is increasingly often), I drop in and pick up some paper happiness that I can take home and use as an imaginary buffer between me and the rest of the world.

Lemonia, Primrose Hill

Fabulous and hugely popular Greek restaurant on Regent’s Park Road that I’ve been meaning to try for ages. Finally went with LC Hammer in tow this weekend, and was not disappointed. Really good food, really great atmosphere. I recommend the moussaka and halloumi.

Burn After Reading

Coen Brothers + Frances McDormand + John Malkovich + Brad Pitt + clever and highly original screenplay = super good times.

Trojka, Primrose Hill

While I was in the trying-new-things-in-my-neighbourhood mode, I did lunch at Trojka on Sunday, a Russian Tea House on Regent’s Park Road that, again, I’ve been saying I’ll try forever. It was great – not the food so much (the food was fine – although the borsch was a little lukewarmish), but the always fantastic experience of Eastern European customer service. You come for the latke, but you stay to be scowled at and ignored by an eye-rolling, out-of-work Russian model slash waitress.

I felt the one unacceptable part of the Trojka experience was that they were playing the soundtrack to The Bodyguard on a loop.

Rain Man

Usually the thought of seeing Josh Hartnett act in anything makes me want to punch myself in the face until I cry, but this was getting some great reviews so I thought it might be okay. It was actually great. Adam Godley was brilliant as Raymond, the autistic brother, and – surprisingly (to me anyway) – Josh Hartnett was pretty terrific. It’s playing at the Apollo Theatre on Shaftesbury Ave in Soho until 20 December, and I recommend getting a ticket.

North-West is best

Today has been one of those days that make me pity the fools who don’t live in London, AKA The Centre of the Universe (TCotU). Sunny, warm, relaxed and lovely, and yet still busy like a hive of busy little Londoner bees.

A friend of mine (who lives in Australia and hates TCotU) once said that the place at the heart of your first Big City Experiene (BCE) must always be the one you love the most. For him it’s New York. For me it will always be London.

Since moving to the UK about a year and a half ago, I’ve had two very different living experiences.

The first was in Fulham. Fulham High Street, to be precise.

In May 2007 I was fresh off the boat from Australia… you remember Australia of course, it’s that place at the bottom of the world where you used to dump all your criminals. My dear friend LC Hammer was living near Fulham Broadway in a semi-detached Victorian conversion (now that I write about property for a living, I bother to use phrases like these. When I first got here, it was just a pretty house on a pretty street). Like most young Aussie professionals, she was living in a sharehouse with two fellow Aussie professionals (let’s call them AusProfs, because it’s quicker and it allows me to embrace my inner wanker), and was part of a thriving community of south-west London AusProf friends.

Like many of those who came before me, I had the good fortune of a connection like LC that meant I could slot straight into a ready-made community. Before I knew it – and before I’d even shaken off my travel-induced daze – I had moved into a flat, P-Vizzle Court, with a couple of her friends, Carrie Powerhouse and GI Jono, and a friend of theirs, Kibble Mahoney.

Ah, the times that were had at P-Vizzle. The ‘family’ dinners almost every weeknight. The movie nights. The Get Pissed Wednesdays. The glasses we broke in the bathtub (that was just me really). The Sunday night scampi. The trips to the circus. The many, many stray Australian visitors that Kibble would bring home to sleep on our living room floor.

The thing about the Aussie sharehouse, though, is that the experience is transient by nature. One by one, Aussies left and were replaced. Eventually Powerhouse went home to Brisbane, and was replaced by Kibble’s friend Jellabean, who proved to be another excellent addition to the P-Vizzle set. Then Kibble himself moved home, and was replaced by ScottyDon’t, who proved to be a wanker.

Eventually P-Viz disbanded, and my next London living experience – my current London living experience – began. In Primrose Hill. Primrose Hill Road, to be precise.

Here life is different. Instead of living in a two-bedroom flat with three other Aussies (this was the reality of life at P-Viz – extremely fun, but not very practical), I live in a two-bedroom flat with one English girl, Vicky Ghetto, who owns the place.

Vicky Ghetto is unlike the P-Viz inmates, but equally awesome. She is very funny, in an English way, and has an equally funny but even Englisher boyfriend. Vicky was the first Jewish person I’d ever met in real life, which I’m sure she finds amusing in a quaint, oh-you-silly-Australian way, but which for me was super exciting. I know this makes it sound like my parents were Grand Dragons in the KKK or something, but actually my hometown is just embarrassingly monocultural. Being a pasty brunette throughout my school years qualified me for the status of Strange and Exotic. The reproductive norm on the Sunshine Coast is for each family to create a small army of tanned blondes, who marry other tanned blondes and make lots of little tanned blondes of their own. If you want diversity, you go to Melbourne.

As I was saying – living with Ghetto is completely different to living at P-Vizzle – but I’ve totally lucked out, because both experiences have been perfect in their timing. A year ago, I didn’t know anyone in London, didn’t know anything about London or about living in London, and having a bunch of Aussies around me who were experiencing the exact same cultural shift was absolutely crucial to my survival in those first six to eight months. If I were in that same sort of situation now with different people, though, it would kill me.

Gosh, I can’t remember what my original point was. Oh right… it was actually going to be a comparison of south-west to north-west London. Hmm, I’m way off.

I guess when I was living in Fulham I just couldn’t have imagined living anywhere else. We had everything right outside our building – good transport links, good shopping, a cinema five minutes away, fabulous restaurants, our own gorgeous local pub – The Temperance (which is on Fulham High Street, on the right side just before Putney Bridge, and is awesome and I highly recommend it), the best fish and chip place in the city right across from us (Fishers – holy cow, try the scampi), the Thames about a two-minute walk away, a beautiful park, a beautiful church, hilarious Pakistani guys in the convenience store downstairs who knew our names, and of course all our Aussie friends living nearby.

But then I moved to NW3. Ahh, the north-west. The best view and nicest picnic spot in London, Primrose Hill, is a five-minute walk from my flat. England’s Lane at the end of my road is the perfect London street – it has a Starbucks, a little Tesco, a florist, a butcher, a drycleaner, a brilliant pub called The Washington, a newsagent, a cute gift shop, an Indian restaurant, a couple of cafes. Supposedly the place is crawling with celebrities, although I’m not very good at noticing them, and frankly I’m still waiting on that welcome-to-the-neighbourhood casserole from Gwyneth and Chris. It’s leafy and peaceful here, but not too quiet. I feel closer to central London, especially since I don’t have to get on the dodgy District Line to get there. The frights and delights of Camden are ten minutes away. Oh, and my friend LC Hammer also remains my neighbour LC Hammer, holing up in NW1.

All in all, north-west is definitely best.

Crazy, Narcissistic and Geeky walked into a drug den…

I have really, really vivid and detailed dreams on a regular basis, and am constantly thrilling friends and workmates by reliving every tiny little detail in full Technicolor and surround sound for their entertainment. I’m just generous like that.

But now I have my new best friend, Blog. So when I woke up from a horrible and extremely lifelike dream this morning just bursting to tell someone about it, I thought, Blog will want to hear about this! Blog is probably DYING to hear about this! I should tell Blog straight away!

Because I don’t have swirly music and hazy camera techniques to denote the dream sequence, I will have to rely on the power of ITALICS as a dramatic storytelling device.

I was with one of my brothers, Crazy Brother, and one of my sisters, Narcissistic Sister (or ‘Narcissister’, if you will). Crazy Brother was, strangely, going to see a drug dealer, and even more strangely, thought this would be a fun excursion for his two younger sisters, Narcissister and Geeky Sister (that’s me) to accompany him on.

Crazy, Narcissistic and Geeky approached a very suspect property where a man stood outside holding a machine gun. Crazy and Narcissistic didn’t appear to notice the man holding the machine gun, and continued merrily toward the front steps of the house.

Geeky was, suddenly and completely, unable to move or speak. She could only stand there for what felt like forever, but was probably only a few seconds, and watch as machine gun man lifted his machine gun and pointed it towards Crazy and Narcissistic. Finally Geeky managed to splutter out something unintelligible to alert Crazy and Narcissistic to the danger of being on this very suspect property with this very scary man holding a machine gun. Alas, it was too late. And while Crazy managed to duck to the ground just in time, Narcissistic was mowed down by the scary man with his machine gun.

Geeky rushed to where Narcissistic lay on the footpath and was relieved to find her heart still beating. She waited a long time for the ambulance to arrive, and it finally showed up approximately eight minutes later. The End.

Phew. Well, Blog, I hope you enjoyed my dream and thank you for listening.

5 Thoughts I’ve had this week that prove I’m turning into my mother

1. I wonder if I’m getting enough vitamins.
Are we meant to actually take vitamins, or is that a fallacy created by big business pharmaceuticals and perpetuated by women’s magazines whose job it is to make us feel bad about ourselves? I can’t decide. Today I attempted to drink this Vitamin Volcano smoothie thing from Pret. Didn’t like it, and don’t feel like I’m bursting with sunshine and health.

2. I wonder if I’m getting enough hours of sleep.
Eight? Six? Five? Five and a half? Four? What exactly is the ideal nightly amount? I am on a constant quest to find my own perfect sleeping-to-waking ratio. Sometimes I can function for days on only four hours a night, and I become convinced that four hours is my optimum, and start to cram in loads more to-do list items to fit in my brand new 20-hour day, and get a bit full of myself, and start looking down on all the suckers who need a full eight hours in order to go about their humdrum lives. And then on the third or fourth day, I forget to wear shoes to work.

3. Sammie Lesbot didn’t reply to my text message. She always replies to my text messages. It’s been several hours. She must have been hit by a car, or kidnapped, or stabbed in Tesco. She must be trapped under the tube.
Actually when you think about it, it’s an amazing feat of cerebral athleticism, leaping straight from reality, OVER rationality and logic, and landing effortlessly on top of unfounded panic without even breaking a sweat.

4. Hmm, this economy thing sounds bad. I am a grown-up now. This could possibly affect my lifestyle in some way. Nonetheless, I am going to buy some new boots and this very nice purple coat. Ooh, look at that iPhone. WANT.
I got both my financial prowess and indefatiguable shopping ability from my mother.

5. Hmm, this road seems clear enough. Although… there seems to be a vehicle coming. Or is it a tree? It’s hard to tell from this distance. Well, I will just wait it out before attempting to cross the road. Tra la la.
Better embarrassingly safe than sorry.