Dear Baz Luhrmann,
Really loved your latest film, Australia. I know a lot of people didn’t get it, but frankly Baz, I think those people just don’t get you. Anybody who’s seen and loved the Red Curtain Trilogy is no doubt familiar with and loves your style, and can appreciate the slightly camp vein that runs through all of your work, as well as the bold, original choices you make. I think you are ace, and I love the way that in this film you both captured the spirit of our country and maximised the time Hugh Jackman spent shirtless.
Baz, you made me laugh (especially in the scene where Nicole’s character sees kangaroos for the first time – classic) and you made me cry (“I sing you to me Mrs Boss”… holy crap, I bawled my eyes out)… but then, alas, you had to ruin it by having ELTON FUCKING JOHN record the theme song played over the credits.
FOR FUCK’S SAKE, BAZ.
Now, look, before I get lynched by an Elton John-loving mob – I am no stranger to the musical delights of Sir Elton. B-B-B-Benny and the Jets is, as far as I’m concerned, no less than a work of boogie genius.
But I can’t help but wonder, as wonderful as our fine British friend’s menthol-cool musical stylings consistently are… was there no Australian artist you could think of who could possibly use a break on the international stage off the back of a major vehicle such as this film? A Pete Murray or a Bernard Fanning perhaps? A David Campbell? Or even a more established and respected stalwart of the Aussie music industry? The supreme king of eighties Australian soft pub rock, John Farnham, comes to mind. Middle-aged women don’t throw their panties at him for nought, Baz.
Of course there’s not much you can do about this now, but… well, it’s just something for you to mull over in retrospect I suppose.
Thanks again for all your top work, Baz. And thanks for including some premium Rolf Harris wobble boarding in the score. You’re a legend.
Sincerely,
Digressica.
