Me: Really? Wow! How many pages are there?

Him: A trillion.

Me: An actual trillion?

Him: Yep.

Me: How do you know that?

Him: I counted them.

Me: Really?

Him: No.

Me: How many is a trillion? Is that like a million billion? A BILLION billion?

Him: It’s a thousand billion.

Me: Oh. That’s not very impressive.

Him: No, it doesn’t sound as good does it.

Me: What comes after a trillion? Is it a bazillion?

Him: Um, no. It’s a quadrillion.

Me: That’s crap. What about a bazillion, though? Is that real? Is a kajillion real? Is a squillion real?

Him: *thinly veiled disgust tempered by infinite patience* No, Jess. Those aren’t real.

Me: What comes after a quadrillion, then?

Him: Quintillion, sextillion, septillion, octillion, nonillion…

Me: Right, I get it. Well that’s boring and predictable.

Him: Nonillion’s pretty good.

Me: We should replace them with bazillion, kajillion and squillion. A bazillion is a billion trillion. A kajillion is a trillion bazillion. A squillion is a bazillion kajillion. And so forth.

Him: Yeah, those are all great suggestions.